The Spark behind My eyes

I think this blog needs to die.

As a journal and a scrapbook of the things I liked when I was younger it’s nice. But my loneliness is starting to eat away at me. For a long time I believed I could use this site to fill the void I felt growing in my life but tonight really clinches that I am woefully inadequate at the business of making online friends. Im slightly less hopeless at talking to real people so I think Ill take my chances so long tumblr. Un less I’m back tomorrow. Then never mind. 

I am sorry that you feel sad and I hope you really get better. from Anonymous

Thank you. I sincerely appreciate it. 

When I’m sad I write page long tumblr posts and then delete them because you can’t depend on anyone to make you feel better. And because When I’m crying and I get a hug I stifle screams. And because the extension of comfort and support just makes me feel helpless and I can’t melt into a pair of arms I go rigid and tense and my sadness reaches new heights because nobody will always be there. That being said, every single time I want someone to save me.